Brandi Whyne Chapter 5 Read online

  “I can tell she really likes that idea.” Robin winked.

  Sure enough my ass wiggled up and down as if nodding the affirmative. I lowered my hand. “Oh, no, I know what you’re up to. ‘Use the rod and spoil the child’ is Zelda’s motto and I agree. I’m not giving in to her if she keeps mooning me like that.”

  My ass thrust upward and swiveled about as if thumbing her nose at me. Robin laughed all the harder.

  “Come here my sweet little pussy,” he teased. “You want a thorough petting or a good licking?”

  I threw myself—or what remained of myself—in front of the brazen body part before they could meet.

  My lover grumbled, “Party pooper.”

  “Attention, all hands.” Tryor’s voice sounded somewhat nasal as it came across the ship-wide intercom speakers. “Some of us seem to be experiencing a little inter-dimensional shifting of anatomy. Nothing to worry about… It should be settling down any minute now.”

  The ship lurched forward abruptly. Water sloshed from the tub. I clung to Robin as my legs and ass came tumbling towards us. Somehow, as the disturbance subsided, I found my two halves reunited, no worse the wear.

  “Amazing.” Robin’s dark eyes grew wide as hubcaps on a Proximan road hopper. “How do you feel?”

  “I feel surprisingly fine.” I rose from the tub and grabbed a thick towel, wrapping myself tightly in it. “But I don’t want to repeat the experience anytime soon. It’s just a little too… weird.”

  “No shit.” Robin stood and caught the towel I tossed to him. “I wonder if ‘Mr. Hedgehog’ took a little walk without the benefit of his master, John Thomas?”

  The thought brought a smile to my lips. I had enjoyed my encounter with Mr. Hedgehog even if I did limp for almost a week afterward. “I doubt he did—otherwise we would have heard the screams.”

  An urgent summons at the cabin door had us both scrambling from the bathroom.

  “Thank the goddess the two of you were unaffected.” Kwak gasped for breath. He collapsed on the bed with a hand to what could be assumed was his heart, if he had one. “It really got bizarre there for several minutes with Tryor’s nose floating about the lab and Dum Luk’s arms punching buttons without benefit of input from his head—which had decided to do the limbo with the structural beams on the ceiling. Luckily the artificial gravity system restarted itself quick enough, but the body parts everywhere kept—well, they kept doing their own things.”

  “We were affected,” I said, slipping into a green and black print silk caftan. “My ass mooned me several times.”

  Kwak stared at me then laughed. “Ooo, you naughty girl! I hope you gave her a good spanking.”

  “I told Brandi to discipline the impertinent wench, but she wouldn’t have it.” Robin dropped his towel and donned a royal purple bathrobe. “Is this type of thing going to become a regular occurrence every time you guys attempt to re-trace the origins of those flame gems?”

  “Who knows? I wouldn’t count it out. In fact, things could get even weirder.”

  “Weirder?” I threw up my hands. “What could get weirder than our bodies flying apart and coming back together again?” Suddenly, an awful thought sprang to mind. “Everyone’s body parts did eventually come home like my backside did, right?”

  Kwak sighed. “So far, so good. I’ve got several more crewmembers to check on, but it does appear to be a temporary phenomena.”

  Robin slipped his feet into his matching house shoes and headed for the exit. “Good. Then we’ll proceed with the experiment. In the meantime, I’d better check on our course heading. If Brandi’s crack can jump across a hot tub of its own accord, there’s no telling where the fuck the Parsnip has jumped to in the universe.”

  * * * *

  “Don’t tell me how it happened. It just did.”

  Grinning from ear to ear, Willie pointed to our current location on the bridge vid screen star map. I rubbed my bleary eyes and did a double take.

  “We’ve arrived at the rendezvous spot already?” I shook my head. “That’s not possible.”

  “Whether it’s possible in this dimension or not is immaterial.” Robin stroked his goatee thoughtfully. “We did it. We jumped a week’s worth of travel at top warp speed in a matter of minutes. You know what this means, Will?”

  “We’ll never be late again for the planet-wide orgy on Arcturus Nine?”

  “Right. Plus, we’ll be able to shave off a lot of time on our product deliveries… And we’ll be able to outrun ol’ Bak Azzwards’ bucket of junk, the Longdong, standing still.”

  “And with the new gun courtesy of Daro’s shuttle we’re practically invincible!” Willie clapped his hands together. “Man, we’re going to kick some mighty space pirate ass at the next Old Time Space Pirate Reunion Games.”

  I sighed. This was yet another “hobby” space pirates are prone to besides show tune singing: drag racing. Yes, they like to race their space ships and brag about who’s got the biggest gun at the annual Space Pirate Reunion Games. It’s very immature, but they seem to enjoy it, and it does prevent them from lapsing into painfully horrible show tune singing—until after the race, that is.

  “But we can’t—we can’t use this technology out in the open,” I interjected. The voice of reason, I hoped they’d pay heed to my words.

  “Why not?” Willie pouted and folded his arms across his chest. “We could patent it and license it out to space vessel manufacturers. Make gazillions of credits.”

  “What if others got a hold of it and ‘disassociated’ every body part from every member of their crew and then some? There could be serious consequences.”

  He scratched his pale blond pate and shrugged “Yeah, I guess so. I mean think how ticked off if everyone arrived at Arcturus Nine for the orgy and discovered their nuts or cunt had been left behind in another dimension?”

  “It would definitely be bad for business,” Robin said. “No sex organs—no need for sex toys.”

  I let loose a groan in frustration. “Is that all you guys can think about? Smuggling and vibrators and orgies?”

  Willie grinned. “Is there anything else?”

  “Of course not.” Robin sighed. “But we do have to consider the big picture here. If space travel becomes routinely fast, spacefarers won’t grow bored… and then they won’t think about hosting orgies and having fun with various adult novelty items to help pass the time during their voyages. So fast space travel isn’t good for our business, either.”

  “Yeah, I take your point,” Willie agreed. “We’ll forget this jump ever happened. Agreed?”

  Robin nodded. “Agreed. Smart man, Willie.”

  I simply stared at the two of them in disbelief. Shaking my head, I walked over to the navigation console and sat down beside John Thomas.

  “Lose any body parts recently?” I asked the gentle giant.

  “No, I didn’t. But Peri’s ears floated from her head and scared her silly.”

  I cringed. “Ooo. I hope she’s okay now.”

  “Oh, yeah. In fact she says she prefers not having her ears on. She never realized how loud she screamed while we fucked.”

  Robin took to the captain’s chair and positioned a foot on the small treasure chest beneath it, giving everyone on the bridge crew a free view of his hard-on peaking out from under his bathrobe.

  “Will, signal Zelda and let her know we arrived at the rendezvous point early. Tell her there’s no real need for them to speed it up a bit. Hmm…” Twirling his thin moustache, his dark eyes glowed with mischief.

  I gave a loud sigh. “You’re up to something, aren’t you?”

  “Of course I am.” He winked. “Now that we’ve got a few extra days on our hands, there’s no reason we can’t throw a few orgies, is there?”

  * * * *

  I have to admit now that Robin’s point about how the rate of space travel affected business was a valid one. Space travel, on the whole, is slow and tedious. Even with faster than light speed capabilities, the
vast reaches of the galaxy boggle the humanoid mind. After a space traveler reads every electronic book in the ship’s library, watches every vid in the ship’s video stores, and completely re-paints his/her/its cabin in shades of chartreuse with pink splotches, plenty of lust-filled adult entertainment is the only thing left to do to help pass the time.

  Or, in other words, sex is the ultimate answer to boredom.

  On this voyage I cooperated at every opportunity. I participated in the ship-wide orgies, and Willie’s “private parties,” which consisted mostly of everyone in the room mentioning his gorgeous cock at least once in conversation. But in regards to one particular sexual escapade I wouldn’t cooperate. I stood my ground and stubbornly dug my toes in, righteous in my indignation.

  “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, Brandi,” Robin repeated over and over. “I’ll let you choose the who, how, when and where, if you’ll say you’ll give it a try.”

  “Forget it. I’m not interested,” I told him. And I meant it.

  So, as in most adventures in my short time aboard the Pulsating Purple Parsnip, I was literally backed into a situation with no way out. And I found to my utmost pleasure, my worse fears weren’t realized.

  “Robin, it’s great to have you at my ‘private party’,” Willie said, shaking my lover’s hand as we entered his holo-candlelit, spicy incense-scented quarters. “We’ve rarely seen you here in recent times. I hope you’ll become a regular guest in the future.”

  “Possibly. But why should you care that I’m here as long as Brandi shows up?” He arched a dark eyebrow at his second in command and chuckled. “Unless you’re feeling experimental and want to suck a little cock?”

  Willie laughed. “I grew out of that stage back at boys’ school.” He slid an arm around my bare shoulders and squeezed. “And you’re right—Brandi is always welcome here.”

  I returned his probing kiss with one of my own. A sense of conquest filled my heart as Willie slid my royal purple-blue corset down to reveal my aching peaks to his expert touch. I moaned and my knees buckled. He led me to a low sofa and continued petting me while Robin looked on.

  “Something’s different about tonight,” I said at last when I came up for air. “Something’s missing.”

  “The other partygoers are missing.” Robin sat down next to me and began licking on my tits and rubbing my clit as well. “This is a very ‘private’ private party with just the three of us, you could say.”

  “How come?” I asked our host.

  “Let’s say it was all Robin’s idea,” Willie admitted slowly. “He wanted a nice relaxed atmosphere with people you trusted so your first time wouldn’t be traumatic.”

  “My first time?” My stimulated brain spun. I’d experienced just about every sexual activity imaginable—fucking, oral sex, orgies, discipline, partner switching, pleasuring and being pleasured by a female… What else was there?

  “Oh, no,” I said. “I’m not doing that. I don’t want to do that. And you can’t make me.”

  “We can’t make you do anything you don’t want to,” Robin said soothingly, “but we can make it seem desirable enough for you to give it a try.”

  I breathed deeply as Willie began unlacing my corset top. “I guess that’s fair enough,” I said. “I owe it to you both to at least give you two a chance to think I’m giving it a try.”

  “Huh?” Willie frowned. “Robin, I think she’s giving us the run-around here.”

  Robin chuckled. “I know she’s giving us the run-around. Oh, well, there’s nothing wrong with a little sucking on one end while the other gets a little fucking. Assume the position!”

  As my partners proceeded to disrobe and arrange the setting for our ménage-a-trois, I felt an oddly familiar rumbling vibration emanating from the bowels of the Parsnip.

  “Are Dum Luk and company re-tracing the origins of the inter-dimensional flame gems again?” Bending over a plump floor pillow, I braced myself for the worse.

  “Could be.” Robin slowly rubbed his sticky cock against my backside and sighed. “Tryor Fuq rarely follows orders when it comes to scientific curiosities and since Zelda’s not here… Well, he’s been getting up to a lot of mischief lately.”

  “Shall we order a bout of discipline tomorrow for him?” Willie suggested. He inched his dick toward my lips and invited me to kiss it intimately. “Ahhh… How well I remember Brandi’s first discipline session. Such bliss!”

  With my lovers keeping my attention occupied, I barely noticed the ship’s brief lurch several moments later. My wet pussy hungered for Robin’s hard thrusting. He happily obliged until orgasmic sparks short-circuited my brain, my womanly muscles clenching and spasming in delight. I collapsed against the pillow, panting.

  “Shall we switch it up a bit, Will?”

  “In this configuration we could do a lot of interesting things.”

  I blinked and slowly opened my eyes. “What are you guys talking about? Oh, no! Not again…”

  My unruly ass had wandered from my top half and was seated halfway across the room. Robin massaged my disembodied pussy, an evil grin sparking his darkly handsome face.

  “How about it, Brandi’s crack? You want to try something a little different? Willie will keep the top half busy so she doesn’t prevent you from experimenting with some new moves.”

  “Bad, naughty girl! You get back here this instant!” I cried. But it was no use. My ass was every bit as stubborn as the rest of my body. She refused to budge.

  “Keep her mouth occupied, Will,” Robin ordered.

  “My pleasure,” he replied, slipping his hard dick between my lips once more.

  Without legs, it wasn’t like I could walk away from the situation. I precariously poised myself over the large stuffed cushion, using my hands as well as my tongue and lips to stimulate Willie’s scarlet cock. Grasping my flowing hair, he held on to me for balance as much as I held onto him for similar reasons.

  “Nice, very nice, Brandi. Hmm… That’s a great position, Robin. I’m growing excited just watching the two of you.”

  “What position? What’s Robin doing?” I demanded. In my current position I was unable to turn my head. And Robin had stepped out of range of my peripheral vision—the bastard!

  I knew what I had to do. I relaxed my muscles and pulled Willie’s rod deeper still into the back of my throat, doubling my efforts to bring my partner to orgasm. Within a few moments, I had Willie quivering and spurting his hot seed into my mouth. He gave a loud cry and sank to the floor. Released from his grasp, I pivoted on my belly in order to find out what Robin was getting up to behind me. And being behind me was exactly what he was up to!

  “No--stop! I order you to stop that this instance, you naughty bottom.”

  My worst fears had come to life. My soul mate stood there boldly fucking my asshole without my expressed permission. My wayward lower half leaned against Willie’s desk, bent over slightly to allow my lover access to her crack. How dare she!

  “Is she nice and tight?” Willie grinned and rubbed his hands together gleefully. “Did you use the desensitizing lube I suggested?”

  Robin nodded. “Yeah. Works great. Feels great. Doesn’t it?”

  My sassy ass cheeks wiggled their reply. Damn them! Why did they have to cooperate without input from my head? If they’d only thought about it they would have…

  “Ooo! What was that?”

  Suddenly I realized I was feeling what my lower half was feeling. After all, it was my buttocks getting pounded—inter-dimensionally or not. Warmth spread across my face… I watched Robin deftly massage my clit as he rhythmically pumped his cock in and out of my ass. Willie groaned beside me on the floor pillows, his dick reawakening at the sight of my first try at anal sex. I reached over and gave him a hand.

  “Thanks. Can I fuck your sweet cheeks next?” Willie looked at me then at my bottom half, hopeful and horny. “I promise to be as gentle as Robin. Please?”

  “No, of course not. I don’t… do… tha
t sort of… thing. Oh!”

  The rush of warmth and electricity exploded in my brain. Lights and colors flashed before my eyes as I arched my upper back and cried out. My climax had sneaked up behind me and completely ambushed me. My torso thrashed about the pillows. My strength zapped, I was unable to stop my trembling.

  Willie smiled. “That good, huh?” He cradled my top half into his arms and idly dawdled with my pointed nipples. “Better hang on, here comes another one.”

  “H-how do you know?”

  “Watch your bottom half. You can tell she’s having a good time.”

  I turned my head and gasped. My naughty nether regions tilted upward, begging for more back door action. Robin waggled an eyebrow at my astonished look, obliging my lower half.

  “Oh, not again…”

  I bucked and twisted in Willie’s arms as I climaxed once more. My shouts soon joined my devious partner’s as Robin tossed back his long hair and cried out, his cock shuddering and spewing its sticky load into my all-too-eager ass.

  As the three of us lay sated and motionless in Willie’s throw pillows, another bump and lurch rocked the Parsnip. I blinked and looked down. My wayward buttocks had returned to their proper place on my body. I felt a bit sore, but thoroughly satisfied.

  “I wonder where we are now?” I muttered. If that last experiment took us nearly to our destination, what could have happened to us after this latest attempt?

  “I’ll check on it.” Robin rose and headed to Willie’s intercom switch. “What’s our current location, bridge?”

  “We’re pretty much where we were before,” Bigguns replied. “Don’t ask me how, but I think Dum Luk has figured out a way to use that device without causing us to fly across the galaxy.”

  “Excellent,” Robin said. “Keep me informed if our position changes. Captain out.” He clicked off the intercom and jumped between Willie and me in the pillows. “And speaking of position changes, let’s try what we just did with you in one piece.”

  “You mean you want to…?” I frowned. “No, I told you no way—never.”

  “But you just did it,” Willie said. He sat up and began stroking his hardening erection. “Remember, you promised you’d let me be next.”