Brandi Whyne Book 3 Read online

  Robin folded his arms behind his back and began to pace back and forth in front of Daro’s pinched face.

  “Pray tell, Mr. Flatdick, do these valuable, shiny objects in your secret cargo hold belong to you or someone else? If you don’t tell us, we might be forced to accept them as payment for injury to our crewmate.”

  “They—they’re not mine. Umph!”

  John Thomas’s energetic bouncing had squeezed most the air out of Daro by this point. The smuggler was on the verge of suffocation. I rose shakily to my feet, slipped my arms into the robe and tied the sash about my middle before approaching my fellow pilot.

  “Come here, John Thomas. I want to thank you for rescuing me.”

  The giant slowly stood up. I gave him a hug—or at least a partial hug. My arms would never reach around the behemoth’s wide form in a million years.

  “Aw, ‘twas nothin’ really. Robin, he was worried about you, and I said I’d help and I did. I kicked in the wall after we cut through the wires and stuff.”

  Robin worried about me? My heart skipped a beat. I stole a glance at my lover, but he seemed too preoccupied to notice what John Thomas had said.

  “Oh, my beautiful ship.” Daro groaned then passed out.

  “Thank you for your bravery, John Thomas.” I stood on tiptoe and gave him a peck on the cheek. His doughy features immediately turned bright pink. “If I can ever return the favor, I will.”

  Willie pouted. “Don’t I get a kiss?”

  “Of course.” The blonde lady-killer swept me into his brawny arms and laid a big, deep kiss on me, sucking the air from my lungs until they were as empty of air as Daro’s.

  “That’s enough, Will.” Robin took me by the elbow and spanked me on the rear left cheek. “Aha! So, that’s where Zelda slapped the electronic bug. Clever woman.”

  I rubbed my stinging buttock and discovered the slightly bumpy spot. “So that’s what that was. I’m glad I didn’t know. I might have divulged it under threat of torture.”

  “Did it hurt?” John Thomas looked concerned. “I heard you screaming when we cut down the wall.”

  I flashed a reassuring smile at him. “Not too much.”

  Willie laughed. “I bet not. At least all the noise you made covered our entrance.” He kicked the passed-out smuggler in the side for good measure. “Daro was taken completely by surprise.”

  “What shall we do with the turncoat?” Pacing restlessly, Robin reentered the conversation. “And how in the hell do we get out of here without resorting to standing on Little John’s shoulders?”

  “This way,” I said, leading them to the switch. The wall slowly swung open. We stepped out of the secret compartment and headed for the air lock.

  “Very nice. A cargo hold that looks as if it takes up the entire length of the ship, but on closer scan it doesn’t.” Willie whistled. “We could make good use of this technology, Robin.”

  “We could, but think of the implications. This isn’t Daro’s doing. Whoever he’s working for gave this technology to him, along with his engines and weaponry. The more I think about it, the more I don’t think he purchased any of it. We’ve got to get him to talk.”

  John Thomas swung Daro roughly over his shoulders, lugging the traitor like a rag doll toward the exit. “He ain’t talking for a while. He’s very tired.”

  I cringed, spying my would-be kidnapper’s head bobbing upside down against John Thomas’s back. Robin placed a comforting arm about my shoulders.

  “Don’t worry. We won’t kill him.”

  “I wouldn’t care if you did,” I admitted, squeezing Robin’s hand on my shoulder. “He certainly wasn’t going to show me any mercy. Can’t we make the bastard walk the ‘space plank’ or boil him in warp core oil or something?”

  Robin did his best to hide his amusement at my comments. He actually appeared proud of my response. He stepped back and gave my backside a pat.

  “Tsk, tsk... It’s hard to believe such a kind-hearted person could become a bloodthirsty pirate practically overnight. Isn’t it, Will?”

  “Think about it—he tried to use the ICBM on her. I thought they’d quit production on that line of vibrators back in the twenty-first century. Too many wrongful death lawsuits against the manufacturer.”

  Robin hit the hatch button and we walked down the ramp and out into the landing bay. The Pulsating Purple Parsnip—the “Triple P” for short—dwarfed Daro’s smuggling vessel by a ratio of twenty to one. Robin Manhood’s ship truly was the widest and longest in the galaxy, and he enjoyed boasting of its prowess to anyone who’d listen.

  “Speaking of manufacturers,” Robin said as we passed by the unloaded crates of contraband vibrators and dildos, “how did the product in this shipment measure up? Crappy stuff made on Chynnah or Tiewuhn?”

  Willie nodded. “Believe it or not it was the same low quality as the last shipment Daro delivered. But get this, it says on the labels, ‘Made on Amarikah.’ I think the product was manufactured on Chynnah, but someone has slapped Amarikahn labels on them, thinking they’d fool us.” The ruddy blond scowled. “Robin, we need to put the word out on the galactic street that someone is trying to cheat us and sully our good—er, I mean our evil name—in the discount adult toy trade.”

  “Patience, Will. Let them think we’ve been fooled a while longer. Then we’ll act.”

  Robin paused at the passage from the landing bay into the ship’s long, narrow main corridor. He lowered his voice and motioned us close.

  “I don’t want the rest of the crew to know all we suspect about Daro yet. I want either Murk or Murt or whoever our resident geek is to completely take apart Daro’s navi-puters and trace his communication records to see what interesting facts pop up, provided we didn’t totally trash the Scorpio’s console room in our rescue attempt.”

  “You mean Murd,” Willie said, chuckling. “The Ombodie are rather difficult to tell apart. He or she is the ‘puter geek of the triad. I’ll go pull him or her out of his or her bunk and get him or her working on the problem right away.”

  “Thank the goddess I’m human.” Robin shook his head and massaged his temples. “The pronoun confusion is enough to give one a headache.”

  We entered the corridor and went our separate ways. Willie went to seek out the assistance of Murd, the one Ombodie crewmember I hadn’t had a chance to meet yet as it kept pretty much to itself and its technical devices. John Thomas headed to the brig to lock up the unconscious Daro. I headed toward the cabin for a shower and then to bed for some much needed rest. It had been one very long, very hard day.

  “Little John, be sure to get Kwak to give our treacherous business partner a once over after you lock him up,” Robin called out.

  “Aye, aye. Dr. Kwak can give him some of that rat poison he’s always talking about and make Daro feel all better.”

  “Uh, yeah, sure.” Robin rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Rat poison. Why not?”

  Grinning, John Thomas pushed the passed-out pirate higher onto his shoulder before lumbering off down the passage. Robin sighed then turned to me.

  “And just where do you think you’re going?”

  I frowned. “To take a bath and get some sleep. You forget that when I woke up this morning I hadn’t yet been tied to the mast with purple velvet cords, I hadn’t made Zelda’s intimate acquaintance yet, and I hadn’t been zapped with an industrial-strength vibrator by a sadistic smuggler. I’m bushed.”

  “Bloody hell! You really have had some busy day, Brandi Whyne. I think we did the nasty somewhere along the way, too. Didn’t we?”

  “Yes, we did… make love.” I put my arm around his waist and rubbed my curvaceous form against his taut-muscled one. “Wanna crawl in the bathtub with me?”

  He laughed. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  * * * *

  One thing about living aboard a pirate’s space ship that once belonged to the chief executive of an adult toy and novelty company is that the master cabin contains all the perks and th
en some. The cabin I shared with Robin not only had a bathroom with a shower, built in hot tub and a small sauna, but it had an automatic bubble bath dispenser and holo-candles. The holo-candles sat along the rim of the tub, instantly lighting when you clapped your hands. They were guaranteed not to go out when you splashed water on them, too.

  And we splashed plenty of water on them.

  “Hmm… That feels heavenly.” I sighed and leaned the back of my head against the cushion as Robin sat opposite me, massaging my feet and legs with the fragrant bath oil. I smelled of roses and lavender and sex. “I never realized how hard entertainers had to work for their living. After five or six orgasms, I’m ready to call it a day.”

  “Hey, if you love what you do, then it’s not so much work as it’s a holiday.”

  I laughed, splashing him for good measure. “So, you’re always on vacation then, is that it? You certainly seem to love being the captain of this crazy bunch of sexed-out space pirates—or is that spaced-out sex pirates?”

  With a mischievous waggle of his eyebrows he lowered his body until he rested his chin on the water’s surface. “It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to look after this lot and keep them out of trouble.” He floated over to my breasts and planted his face between them. “Ah… Now this is the one spot in the universe where I know I’ll stay out of trouble.”

  “Yes, it is. I promise to look after you and keep you busy.”

  “Hmm…” He slowly circled my areolas with a finger, tenderly kissing the full, round sides. I sighed, my pussy muscles contracting with building desire. My hands reached for his nipples, tweaking them into they stood hard and erect. I felt his cock hardening against my leg. Here came lucky number seven!

  Robin slowly rubbed his hard on along the sensitive skin along the inside of my thighs. I reached out a hand and encouraged his sensual massage. “You promise to look after me and only me forever and ever, Brandi?”

  “Of course I will.” My heart flip-flopped as my juices began to flow. This was the closest Robin had ever come to declaring his love and devotion to me. Perhaps the curse of Marian Maidenform had been broken at last?

  He knelt between my spread legs and rubbed a thumb across my throbbing clit. I moaned. Reaching up, I stroked his firm pecs, rock-hard flat abs and squeezed his muscular buttocks. Who couldn’t love a man like Robin Manhood? He was all the Goddess of Fun, Fertility and Family Planning promised a young girl and more.

  He was successful—he ran his own business and had his own space vessel.

  He was attractive—what more can be said? He possessed the body of a god with those wicked, dark eyes and that devilish goatee and thin moustache. I practically wet my panties every time he smiled at me.

  He was ready to settle down with only one woman—me, Brandi Whyne—the woman who had healed his broken heart and banished all thoughts of the evil Marian from his mind forever. So, it was with some disappointment when I heard Robin uttered his next words.

  “You sure you won’t get bored with me someday and go looking for fun elsewhere, say with Willie or Daro?”

  The illusion was over. My eyes flew open. I frowned at him.

  “What did you say?”

  He pulled away. My hands fell to my sides.

  “I wanted to know if you would ever grow bored of our relationship. I wanted to know if you’d find someone else more exciting from time to time and wander off from my bed.”

  I could have sworn his lower lip trembled slightly. His dark eyes seemed to glisten. Robin Manhood near tears? It seemed impossible. But he was acting so vulnerable that I didn’t have it in my heart to lie to him.

  “Robin, no one can promise that they won’t grow ‘bored’ in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean I’d leave you because of it. Besides, weren’t you the guy who told me that I could visit my fellow crewmate’s quarters all I liked but that I’d always have a place to sleep here with you? I promise I won’t sleep anywhere else.”

  “I did say something along those lines, didn’t I?” He shrugged. “Okay, well then, I guess I can’t hold you to a promise that I myself am not ready to make.”

  Huh? The day had been too long and the orgasms too numerous for my addled brain to make sense of what my lover had just said. All I knew is that I wanted his hard cock rammed into my wet pussy—repeatedly. We’d work on the “happily-ever-after” details later.

  “Come here,” I gently commanded. I drew him into my embrace, covering his face and neck with feather-light kisses. He slid his hands under my buttocks and lifted me onto his ready erection, slowly rocking me up and down on his hard shaft. I sighed.

  “You’re so easy to please—and so damn easy to arouse!” Robin laughed. He grasped my butt cheeks hard and continued his intimate assault. “I can think of several million male humanoids who would love to fuck your sexy brains out.”

  “I can think of millions of females who would love to have their brains fucked out by you, Robin Manhood. Don’t underestimate yourself.” I rubbed my tits against his taut chest and purred. “It’s me who should feel jealous. How many times a week do you schedule a ‘discipline’ session with Zelda?”

  “Three or four? I’m a naughty boy and need to be punished from time to time. But I recall you didn’t mind a little bout of discipline earlier today… Both on and off the bridge.”

  I blushed. “All right, so you caught me. Zelda quite overwhelms me at times. But I promise nobody has fucked me today but you.”

  He pumped faster. My womanly muscles clenched about his cock. That familiar tenseness built low in my belly. He kissed me passionately, his tongue probing my mouth and drinking in my headiness for several moments before he stopped to catch his breath.

  “You wanted them to fuck you, didn’t you?” he asked matter-of-factly.

  I moaned and tilted my head back. I couldn’t look him in the face. “Yes. I would have enjoyed Willie’s slick dick in my hot pussy. I enjoyed making him come. I wanted to feel him deep inside me.”

  Robin pumped faster. “Who else?”

  “Daro. Ooo, his pants were so tight and molded around his cock… I could tell it was a big one. I wanted him to toss that vibrator aside and ram his rod into me so hard I’d scream.”

  Robin’s breathing became faster and ragged. “Anyone else?”

  I bucked my clit in time with his thrusts, sensing that the edge of the starry, bliss-filled abyss came ever nearer. “Okay, Zelda could have done anything she wanted to me today, and I would have climaxed like a freight train. The woman exudes sex. I want to suck her tits until she cries for mercy.”

  “Hmm… yes, yes. Me too.” Robin’s breathing became even more uneven. His thrusts came harder, faster. We both tottered over the brink of ecstasy together, shouting and thrashing about in the sudsy water until even the inextinguishable holo-candles became thoroughly doused.

  * * * *

  “Manhood, I can’t pilot a ship like the Scorpio. Hell, I don’t think Daro knew what he was doing half the time, and it was his vessel.”

  Zelina’s gruff tone reverberated throughout the conference room. Done up in tones of lavender and mint green, the generous floor pillows and knee-high oval, glass table spoke more of a wealthy Proximan’s garden party than a room where business was conducted. Yet here the Parsnip’s officers sat, cross-legged, on the lush dark purple-carpeted surface, enjoying cups of a lemony herbal tea in delicate violet-floral china cups. It had to be the most civilized breakfast meeting of space pirates in the history of the known universe.

  “You never know until you try,” Robin countered the leather-wearing Terran. “After all, you said you wanted the first officer’s job aboard the Longdong. You have some piloting skills, Zelina, don’t you?”

  “I do. But the Longdong is more like this garbage scow, big, slow and steady. The Scorpio is more than fast. It’s got some kind of hybrid warp coil drive powered by dark matter fuel like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Daro only let me on board since I dropped a hint that I knew the wa
y to your hideout in case the Parsnip didn’t make the rendezvous.”

  “You know where Old Smokey is?” John Thomas’s eyes widened in surprise and fear. “Nobody knows where Old Smokey is unless Robin says they can know.” The gentle giant turned to his captain. “Did you tell Zelina about our secret hideout?”

  Robin shook his head. “Don’t worry, J.T. It was a bluff. Right?”

  Zelina scrunched up her nose and snorted. “Yeah, I was lying through my teeth. When I heard through the grapevine that Daro was meeting up with the Parsnip I knew this was my best chance to make amends to Zelda.”

  Zelina faced her former—and apparently current—lover. She took Zelda’s lavender gloved hand in hers. “And she’s forgiven me. Right, honey-dumplings?”

  “That’s right, sugar-britches,” Zelda cooed, winking at the assembled crew as she snogged Zelina on the cheek. “We’re no longer angry with each other.”

  “I simply adore happy endings.” Dr. Kwak rolled his almond-shaped eyes before slurping the rest of his tea and banging his cup down hard on the tabletop. “Now, does anyone want to hear my report? Or are we going to move the glass table out of the way and get going with the ship-wide orgy?” The cross-dressing doctor looked straight at me and slowly licked his lips. “I get dibs on Brandi’s sweet ass this time.”

  “Say what?” I pouted. “Robin, this is supposed to be a business meeting. Remember?”

  “Yeah, yeah. The orgy can wait. We’ve got more serious matters to attend to first,” Robin said under his breath, “like whether or not we’re going to be alive long enough to even start a ship-wide orgy.”

  “Yes, I suppose getting killed does put a crimp in keeping your cock up.” Kwak sighed. “All right then, my report on our hostage—I mean our guest—in sick bay, Mr. Daro.”

  All eyes focused on the ship’s chief medical officer who sat toying with the end of a red satin ribbon trailing down the front of his rose-patterned housedress.

  “Well?” Willie asked. “Did the rat poison work this time?”